I woke up this morning
Exhausted… as has been the norm as of late. I think it is due to all the stress around me. At Work, at Home… At work one of my very lovely colleagues had a breakdown and is now on medical leave for the next 90 days… The poor thing he was so sweet… I can not believe the range of effect this nasty client has had on us… incredible… The other stress is a bit harder because I want so badly to help and make things right… but this time more than ever I need to stand back, its so important but its so hard. I feel like I am holding my breath walking on a tightrope… but it is not me… I am simply watching. I have faith… that is a good safety net I hope.
In my haze this morning I found a picture of my hippo painting that I took mid-way through… I was gutted to realise that what I have done now is a step backwards… I was so heartbroken. All of my heart and soul ached to stay home today and work on it to fix it. I felt so helpless… so low. It sounds so pathetic… but its how I felt… Riding to work I looked around, and I said to myself… regardless of work… stress in my personal life… damn it… there are things to be greatful for… I live in an absolutely gorgeous city where the sun shines every day… I have money enough to feed myself and I am working towards starting my own business in the next few weeks. I have a lot to be positive about… and every second I waste on feeling blue or being a big wussy about some silly painting or some stupid job will not get me anywhere…
Thus I have tasked myself to write a list of resolves and do my damnest to stick to them… here it goes in random order
- Wake up and smile… even thought I feel like death in the morning
- Paint at least twice a week... new things and finishing old incomplete pieces
- Go to the gym on the weekend as this during the week thing simply does not work
- Find somewhere to take tennis lessons
- Really put some hard core effort into getting my business off the ground and stop being so scared of the idea
- Ring my mum more
- Set more goals and complete more tasks
- Go back to Spanish lessons
- Take more photos for my blog
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